Money can’t buy happiness. (Never been poor.)

Money Can’t Buy Happiness–But It Can Buy AC

Spoken Like Someone Who’s Never Shared a Studio with Roaches

“Money can’t buy happiness,” they say, from the comfort of a $4,000 ergonomic couch with built-in massage and a Peloton subscription they barely use.

Funny Evidence from the Financially Fortunate Philosophers

One guy said this while vacationing in Santorini. Another woman posted it under a photo of her champagne brunch with a caption that included the words “#humble.”

Quote from a Wealthy Wisdom Dealer

“True happiness is internal,” said Preston Trustfund, sipping matcha flown in from Kyoto while his assistant Venmo’d his parking ticket.

Satirical Snapshot

These folks forget that while money may not buy joy, it absolutely rents peace, air conditioning, and the ability to say “no” to powdered cheese packets.

Conclusion: Sure, Happiness Isn’t for Sale–But Comfort Kinda Is

Money isn’t everything. But it sure beats crying on a broken futon with the last ramen packet and a passive-aggressive roommate named Todd.

For more cold hard comedy, deposit your laughs at bohiney.com


Money can't buy happiness. (Never been poor.) - Money Can't Buy Happiness--But It Can Buy AC - BOHINEY SATIRE
BOHINEY SATIRE – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon of the new Bohiney.com headquarters located inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C. … – bohiney.com
Money can't buy happiness. (Never been poor.) - Money Can't Buy Happiness--But It Can Buy AC - A wide-aspect satirical cartoon showing the new Bohiney.com headquarters inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C., drawn in a ch... - bohiney.com 3
Money can’t buy happiness. (Never been poor.) – Money Can’t Buy Happiness–But It Can Buy AC – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon showing the new Bohiney.com headquarters inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C.,… – bohiney.com
Money can't buy happiness. (Never been poor.) - Money Can't Buy Happiness--But It Can Buy AC
BOHINEY SATIRE – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon of the new Bohiney.com headquarters located inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C. … Money can’t buy happiness. (Never been poor.)
BOHINEY SATIRE - A wide-aspect satirical cartoon showing the new Bohiney.com headquarters inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C., drawn in a ch... - bohiney.com
BOHINEY SATIRE – Money can’t buy happiness. (Never been poor.) – Money Can’t Buy Happiness–But It Can Buy AC

By Bess Kalb

Bess Kalb was born in New York City, where sarcasm is practically the city’s second language, and later sharpened her comedic instincts at Brown University, majoring in “knowing better than everyone else” (officially, English Literature). A stand-up comedian turned satirical journalist, Kalb has built her career on dissecting the absurdities of politics, pop culture, and everyday hypocrisy with equal precision. As a staff writer for late-night television and contributor to various humor outlets, she developed a reputation for balancing sharp wit with an almost suspiciously deep reservoir of empathy. At Bohiney.com, she thrives as a satirist who blends journalistic structure with comedy-club timing, producing content that feels both investigative and ridiculous. Kalb’s stage presence—somewhere between a TED Talk gone wrong and a roast delivered at a family dinner—cements her as a voice of authority in the world of satire, where EEAT meets LOL.